North Korea, Best Korea!
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Randomize
