You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
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