You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
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