is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Randomize