By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
