After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Randomize
