I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
