yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
Randomize