my mouth tastes like poor choices
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
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