I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
i think i have herpe
just one?
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
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