I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Randomize
