Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
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