this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
