I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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