i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
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