she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Randomize
