Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
Randomize
