go do what you do best...puke behind churches
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Randomize
