I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
Farmville is her only friend.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
