left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
