spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
This show inspires me to have sex in space
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize