I want to walk on stilts...naked
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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