He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Randomize
