Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Randomize
