she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
