its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
Randomize
