sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
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