I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
I just googled if crying burns calories
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Randomize
