omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
The iPhone is ruining my ability to sex message. My 5-year-old cousin just picked up my phone at my grandmas birthday party and read "I wanna stand you up and fuck you from behind" to my entire extended family bc of popped up on my screen
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
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