Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
Randomize
