I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
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