i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
it's not cheating when I paid for it
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
