Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
