i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Randomize
