The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
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