Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
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