Having a random hookup so left but love u
I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
