Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
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