Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
I need a burrito and a hug.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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