Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
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