Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize
