It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
Randomize
