That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Randomize
