The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
this boner is exhausting
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
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