so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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