I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
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