The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
