Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Randomize
