Taylor Swift is so right about you.
Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize
