so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
Randomize
