Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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