Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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