That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Randomize
