just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
Randomize