Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
Randomize
