I showed him my bush... on skype.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
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