Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Randomize
