ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
The beer is more important than you right now.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize