This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
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