At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Randomize
