imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
Randomize
