Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
