Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
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